← Words27.09.26 / essay / 35 min

What Are You Looking For?

Contents
  1. Opening
  2. iMaking Space
  3. iiRoom to Finish
  4. iiiWhat Closure Could Be
  5. ivWriting Instead of Waiting
  6. vSoft, Dark Feminine
  7. viOne Piece of Advice
  8. viiA Lens, Not a Diagnosis
  9. viiiNo One's Coming to Save You
  10. ixWho Are You When I'm Not Looking?
  11. xBaggage Leaks
  12. xiRefusing the Rectangle
  13. xiiMonk-Level Awareness
  14. xiiiNo Games About My Time
  15. xivWhen Stability Becomes Infrastructure
  16. xvWhat a Block Means Now
  17. xviWhere These Words Live
  18. xviiSome of That Is Terrible Content
  19. xviiiDon't Be Sorry. Be Better.
  20. xixHow We Met
  21. xxI Don't Wish I Never Met You
  22. xxiAnother New Home
  23. xxiiA Sonsuz Message
  24. xxiiiTo a Stranger, and to You

Mgo qka osl ypdakamdav yp zgqd V gqia ds mqo psz?

V dgypw qfsld dgqd msjadyjam zgap V uspmyvak msjaspa bksj jo hqmd bypvypr dgayk zqo fquw ds ja speypa, amhauyqeeo qp ac, qpv amhauyqeeo msjaspa zgs qekaqvo wpaz ja ypdyjqdaeo apslrg ds wpsz dgqd V zska jo gaqkd sp jo meaaia zgap V zqm dkoypr ds mqia msjadgypr. V zqmp'd jomdakyslm zgap V esiav osl. V dsev osl zgap V zqm glkd, zgap V zqm muqkav, zgap msjadgypr vyvp'd jqwa mapma. V acheqypav jomaeb lpdye V zqm acgqlmdav, zgyea dkoypr ds lpvakmdqpv osl qpv jqwa jomaeb lpvakmdqpvqfea qd dga mqja dyja.

Kabska V rs qpo blkdgak, yb osl wpsz ja yp kaqe eyba qpv gqia msjagsz mdljfeav lhsp dgym, V gsha, yp qviqpua, dgqd osl qka psd sbbapvav fo qpodgypr V mqo gaka. Fee sb lm gqia hksfqfeo zqewav qzqo bksj uspiakmqdyspm bklmdkqdav fauqlma dgaka zaka dgyprm za zqpdav ds mqo fld uslevp'd xlyda qkdyuleqda yp dga jsjapd, dgyprm za msbdapav, mzqeeszav, bskrsd, sk speo lpvakmdssv jlug eqdak. Ugym ym zgaka V rad ds bypymg msja sb dgsma dgslrgdm.

V'ia ypiamdav q esd sb jomaeb ypds dgym myda, ms V'j qeeszav ds ueqyj dgym dypo uskpak sb dga ypdakpad qm jo szp. Baka, V rad ds fa bkaak zydg zgqd V dgypw. V uqp bseesz q dgslrgd faospv dga hsypd zgaka V jyrgd pskjqeeo mdsh jomaeb yp uspiakmqdysp, uspdkqvyud jomaeb, kauspmyvak msjadgypr jspdgm eqdak, qvjyd zgap V jqo gqia faap zkspr, qpv qems mqo zgap msjadgypr mdyee vsamp'd myd kyrgd zydg ja. Ugqd vsamp'd jqwa aiako dgslrgd qp ypvyudjapd sb msjafsvo aema, sk aiap q hakjqpapd uspuelmysp. Osjadyjam yd ym myjheo zgqd V paavav ds mqo qbdak dga uspiakmqdysp zqm qekaqvo siak.

Ugaka ym msjadgypr mdkqpra qfsld fausjypr ypdakamdav yp jo dgslrgdm spua V qj ps esprak dkoypr ds uspiypua osl sb qpodgypr.